Cutting
by Forbiddensoul562
Summary: Hiei is having some issues and finds himself at Kuramas barely alive. What hapened to him? Even he doesn't know why. Now it is a struggle between the two to get Hiei to survive please r
1. drowning

I know I have way to many stories now but I read a few stories from an AMAZING author, I would tell you who but I don't remember right now. Anyway I got an idea and I decided to go on with that.

Cutting

Chapter 1

Hiei's P.O.V

What had happened to me? I didn't know one minute I was sitting in a tree a while from Kurama's house sword in hand, the next I found myself trying my hardest to get to the fox's house.

I finally did but I had been drained of a lot of energy what had I done to myself? Maybe I did this to myself; I couldn't remember. I barely had enough energy to jump up to Kurama's window let alone get myself inside.

I got in fine but once my feet touched the carpet flooring I fell to the ground, at this time I didn't have enough energy to move myself or barely keep my eyes open.

I tried though I wouldn't look weak not in any situation I had to at least keep myself awake; I failed miserably.

Pain overtook me in many places now that I thought about it I didn't even know where I was cut or anything. I laid there motionless hoping Kurama would be home.

Slowly my world became even darker and I fell unconscious.

(Wouldn't it suck if I left it right there? Well I won't.)

Kurama's P.O.V

I was out a ways from home with a few of my school friends. No matter how much I tried to have fun and just enjoy myself for once something in me told me I should be home.

"Guys I got to go I'll see you at school on Monday." I announced starting out of the arcade we had been in.

"Alright then bye." They called waving as I left.

When I was out of their sights I started sprinting towards my home. That feeling had become stronger now and I was sure something was wrong.

I was glad to see my mother's car not in the driveway as I went up the stairs and to the door.

The dark form of my family's living room was cool as I entered and shut the door. I walked slowly around the area trying to pick up any energy but I could only feel a very faint energy source.

Maybe Hiei was in that tree not far from my house again or in the area? I tried to shrug off the uneasy feeling I had but some remnant of it still remained.

I walked quietly up the staircase and into my room where my breath caught when I saw Hiei's motionless body on my floor not far from the window.

I ran over and got down near him picking him up into a upright position. "Hiei?" I asked quietly trying to wake him up.

I was to stunned by the fact that he had passed out on my floor to really realize that his cloak and shirt had large gashes in it like he had been attacked in some way.

"Hiei." I said again but this time he slowly opened his eyes and looked at me. It seemed like it was a lot for him to just open his eyes as he let the lids fall back over them instantly.

"Hiei what did you do to yourself now?" I asked trying to take his cloak off to get a better look at how bad he was.

He didn't move much he only winced at every inch I took it up. I could tell though that if he could he would be screaming in pain.

Finally it was off and only his tattered shirt remained. It was at one time black but now it was even darker with all the blood that had soaked threw it.

Slowly his eyes opened but it still seemed like he was straining. "Hiei?" I asked looking him in the eyes. "What happened?" He didn't say anything and it looked like he could barely understand me.

"Hiei we need to get you cleaned up come on." I said picking him up in a standing position and allowing him to lean mostly on me.

It took us a while but finally we made it to the bathroom where I let him sit on the wall.

At the time my mind was rushing to fast for me to really realize that I had turned on the cold water instead of the warm.

I decided for now I would just let the cuts and blood rinse out so I left his cloths on but put him on the side of the tub. (Does anyone but me think this is going to end REALLY badly?)

"I'll be right back." I said although I doubt he could hear me or if he would even respond. I decided that I would leave him for a moment to get necessary supplies to clean and wrap his cuts.

My mind was working so fast I couldn't even remember when I had last left. I went around my room trying to find it but to no luck.

Hiei's P.O.V

I didn't know what I was feeling anymore, I sat there on the smooth surface trying to keep myself stable; it didn't work. I guess I had already lost a lot of blood and energy that I needed to survive because the room started to spin around me.

I was able to cease this by shaking my head a bit but soon the feeling came back.

"Kurama." I tried to say loudly enough for him or his sensitive ears to hear but my voice only came out in a low mumble not enough for me to be heard.

The room began to spin around me and even when I shook my head it didn't work. My mind went blank and I was blinded for a minute.

In that time I heard a splash and I was in freezing cold water. My lungs as well as the rest of me felt clamped and I couldn't breath.

I couldn't move much my hands flailed around unable to grasp anything for me to pull myself up on. My lungs filled with water and I couldn't move much.

I coughed over again my vision beginning to get blacker like it did when I first came to Kurama's house.

I desperately tried my hardest to get at something but it was all a failure and I was left to thrash about in this freezing water.

A/N: Hey guys I told you it would end bad although I think it was an awesome cliffhanger! Anyway please review to me and I will update, if not I will leave it here and let Hiei drown. Dodges random objects.

3


	2. Asleep forever

Hey everyone I'm back as you see thanks for reading and reviewing here is your next chapter!

Reviewers:

Mr. Leader: YAY

Hn.Fool: Yes I am!

Jessica: ok

Tsume-Hiei luver: Sounds awesome I defiantly will

WARNING READ NOW: OK now I have an announcement that has been brought to my attention! Ok now if ANYONE has a fanfiction or a story they would like me to read and review to I would be more then happy to since you guys do for me!

Chapter 2

Kurama's P.O.V

I don't know how long it took me to finally find all my supplies maybe another two minutes or so.

I went back to the bathroom to find the water flooding parts of the tiled floor and Hiei's body submerged in the water his arms lose on the sides of the tub like they had been struggling for freedom.

"Oh my god Hiei!" I shouted dropping the items and trying to make my way to Hiei. Only when the water touched my feet did I realize my mistake in the water temperatures and made my way over faster.

Falling to my knees I stuck my hands in the water. It felt like it had ice cubes put in it the water was so cold I didn't even want to think about how long Hiei had been in this water.

I grabbed his shoulders and brought him to the surface but his face hung limp in my hands.

"Hiei!" I shouted worried to death.

I didn't get a reply, not even a wince to let me know he even heard me or felt his cuts being moved.

"Hiei!" I took him out of the water but only to realize that it wouldn't do anything to help. The air in my family's house was always kept cool and after being in that water it wouldn't provide anything for him.

This time though he did start to shiver slightly form the cold, I suppose his energy was so low he couldn't even raise his body temperature to warm him. (Being a fire demon and all.)

"Hiei please breath!" I said shaking him but still supporting him upright.

I could breath a slight sigh when he started to cough at least I knew he didn't drown. "It's alright Hiei, breath." I tried to sooth but it didn't work his body shook violently now and he would cough every so often I knew he was trying though.

"Please breath Hiei." I said again as his breathing became ragged now. Finally he opened his eyes and looked up slowly at me.

It was just barely I knew at any moment he could collapse from the cold or loss of breath but still it was the look in his eyes.

The look on his face said 'you left me' but the look in his eyes said 'thanks.' It was more of a mixed message.

I gave him a smile and got up to get a few towels. When I came back he had fallen onto the overflowing tub side and his eyes had fallen again but he was still breathing even in the least.

"Hiei you must try to support yourself enough to stay off the side." I said putting a towel around his shoulders.

Hiei's P.O.V

Kurama put the towel around my shoulders to help dry me, and to provide what little heat it could although it didn't work well.

Cold… numbness… These were all new feelings to me. Being a fire demon made feelings such as these nonexistent.

Even now I couldn't move my body as well. My mind didn't know what to try and heal first my cuts, or the cold. It didn't matter I didn't have the energy to do either anyway. All I had was Kurama to help me survive now.

He said something to me but I was to consumed in my thoughts to hear let alone comprehend what he had said. Suddenly I was brought into a standing position my legs didn't work and buckled under me.

I would have fallen onto the wet floor if Kurama hadn't caught me and let me lean on him for support.

I didn't mean to and I didn't want to but my body started to shiver all over. I didn't want to put any more trouble onto Kurama by worrying about me more but I just couldn't stop.

His body provided a bit of heat to my now freezing body and I was glad for this.

Slowly we made our way back to the bedroom where there I couldn't take this damn cold anymore! My body gave way just as I reached the bed to sit down and once again I fell and my eyelids shut whether I wanted them to or not.

I waited for the sound and feeling of the impact but it never came. I was now cradled by a familiar darkness.

A/N: That was pretty good if I do say so. Now the third chapter will make you scream and chase me by the ending I put onto it lol. Yes I have already written the first three chapters and I am going to start on the fourth just because my idea's are working again!

3


	3. Swallowed by darkness

Hey everyone here is the third chapter! I know everyone was anxious to read the next chapter so I got right to typing it up! Now without any further ado let this chapter begin!

I'm really sorry guys about that big misunderstanding about the two chapters my mind just isn't working right these days.

Chapter 3 Asleep forever

Kurama's P.O.V

We entered the room once more and Hiei took it upon himself to walk to the bed. I stood in the doorway to make sure he got there without falling.

My sense told me that his body was very weak, he was cold and in pain and no doubt he didn't have enough energy to heal himself.

Unfortunately though right as he reached the bed he collapsed once more onto the floor. I went over to help him up when I noticed he had blacked out again and was shaking again.

I knew neither he nor his wounds would like it but it had to be done, I took the comforter off my bed and covered him completely in it.

Then I sat him upright once more and hugged him tight, desperate to get heat into his freezing body.

Hiei's P.O.V

Kurama hugged me, the fox. I didn't have the energy to knock him off and even if I did I wouldn't.

I liked the feeling of it, at this time I felt something I had never felt in my life, like I was cared for, like someone cared enough to try and help me to survive.

Kurama's P.O.V

After being like this for a few minutes he stopped shivering and I was glad although I knew he had to be in pain from having something touch his open wounds.

I leaned him against the side of the bed and preceded to retrieve the medical supplies I had dropped. When I came back I started to try and wrap his open cuts. They still bled some but not as much as when I first found him.

Threw out the whole process of applying and wrapping he didn't move once.

Finally I finished and looked at the job I had done. His small body was covered in white cloth from the wrappings and some even had red marks were blood had begun to seep threw.

I decided it was best to let him rest for a while just so he could regain some of his much needed energy.

I sat myself up in a chair with a book and began to read.

LATER

About two and half hours later I had finally let myself get worried. Hiei was not one to stay down long and any weak or strong demon could have regained some energy, at least enough to survive by.

But not Hiei, I couldn't sense his energy and he hadn't moved once in those two hours. I got off the chair and went over to him, "Hiei." I said shaking him a bit; no response.

"Hiei." I repeated praying to Inari (correct me if I'm wrong but I thought Kurama worshiped Inari.) That he would at least move on his own.

"Hiei!"

Why wouldn't he wake up.

Hiei's P.O.V

I feel like I have finally been swallowed up by the inescapable darkness that is known as death.

A/N: I told you all that you would scream at me for the ending I put onto this chapter!

Anyway please review me and I will get the next chapter up immediately!


	4. still alive

Hey everyone still pretty ticked off that my BEST copy of this was deleted before I could save. Mental note: SAVE when gets to good part. (Yeah like THAT'S ever going to happen.) Anyway I will leave you (for now) so you can read the chapter.

Reviewers:

Tsume-Hiei luver: oh it's alright I don't mind if you use stuff from me just not the whole story. Anyway when you do I feel like REALLY good! I'm glad I inspired you to some degree.

ShatteredSoul56: Thanks!

Jessica: ok

Dragon Tamer103088: I'm sorry but I can't I TRIED! I have like blocks and it won't let me do it. If you want to e-mail it to me then my e-mail is on my profile!

Blue Moon Fox: Ok thanks SO much!

Chapter 4. Still alive

Kurama not knowing what else to do ran out of the room to try and get one of his plants to wake him up.

(Anyone notice this is like the first time the story isn't in someone's P.O.V?)

Hiei's P.O.V

(Well that didn't last long.)

I could hear Kurama's calls to me but I didn't know what to do I could barely tell where they were even coming from.

Deciding a way that they were coming from I ran off in that direction I had seen enough darkness for one day. (Notice the 'one-day.' Can anyone say foreshadowing?)

I hoped to hear a call from him again just to reassure me that I was going in the right direction. Sadly though nothing came and I was left with the darkness and silence; again. (Now I'm confused. Ok I'm going to shut up now. Lets see how long this lasts!)

After running for a moment light shown threw and I didn't stop I just went right threw it. I was jolted up and wide-awake.

Looking around the room I found nothing, Kurama wasn't even there; just like all the other times. (Now I feel sad! I'll explain later I promise rereading this gave me an idea!)

I sighed rather loudly thinking about it, sure Kurama was there to save me from my own fate. But then he was barely if ever there to help with the after effect of it and that had always been the worst part for me.

After a moment with my eyes shut thinking everything threw the door opened and Kurama walked in with a rather light green leaf in hand.

"You're awake Hiei." He said putting the leaf on the desk and sitting in front of me.

"What happened to you? I couldn't get you to wake up." He asked that concerned look on his face; I despise that look.

"I don't know." I was about to burst on him about everything he's done but I decided I would hold back; for now. (OHHH MAJOR HINT THERE! Sorry I'll shut up now.)

He rested on his hands and just looked at me for a while. "What are you looking at fox?" I asked glaring at him.

"What's wrong Hiei? You weren't like this before." He asked what was with the stupid questions?

"Nothing." He would never know his own flaw. He would never understand that he had done this to me. All of what has happened to me was caused in some way by him; and his ignoring.

A/N: Does ANYONE else but me see ANY foreshadowing in here? I mean come on now you know what has happened and what WILL happen. Oh well please review to me and I will work on the next chapter before I lose my idea.


	5. Ignoreing the pain

Hey everyone I am back again with another update because I had an AWSOME idea and I have to put it down or I will forget it. Whether it is long or not depends on how I write it and some other stuff.

Chapter 5 anyone notice I can't remember my chapters anymore?

"No Hiei something is wrong I can tell by the way you act." Kurama said looking Hiei in the eyes.

'He's so blind.' Hiei thought looking back into Kurama's eyes.

"Nothing is wrong fox." 'Just like all the other times.' I thought. But somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I wasn't helping any by denying the truth.

"Hiei." He gave me one of those looks that says he knows something is wrong. "Okay then how did you do this to yourself, did a demon attack you or something?"

No that wasn't it, I guess I had done it to myself. Probably because of Kurama ignoring my attempts to call out; to be heard.

Why was I affected by his not caring? I didn't know… I guess I just don't like to be ignored.

Especially by my best friend who usually knows what is wrong with me when no one else does.

"No, I guess I did it to myself." I looked down afraid of his response. He looked down enough to look into my eyes, to show me he was worried.

"Why would you do this to yourself?"

"I don't know." It was the honest truth butt I knew he wouldn't buy it.

"Yes you do know Hiei, you've never been one to act without thinking."

"So you notice the way I act; surprising." I meant to say it at my head but the words poured out from my mouth.

"Hiei what are you talking about, why won't you just say what's wrong?" His voice was so worried and he made no effort to hide it.

Why wouldn't I just say it, I didn't know? "You ignored me."

A/N: I know it was short, but very emotional. I'm sorry for not putting very much in Kurama's P.O.V but it just comes out more emotional in Hiei's P.O.V and I think I have clearly showed that.

Anyway please review this and I will update soon I know you will all want that!


	6. You're no telepath!

Hey everyone I'm back with a new chapter for this story finally. Anyway I'm anxious to find out how this chapter will end so lets get on with the chapter!

Reviewers:

Kyolover91: No your theories are somewhat correct but none of my stories are yaoi. Anyways you will find out.

ShatteredSoul56: Ok I know I'm like that.

Llikeyaoi: ok thank you

Sadandlonely: thank you very much

Blue Moon Fox: Sorry that's all I could think of but thanks!

Ryuuie Mizishi: Yep I always do what reviewers ask of me! Thanks a lot I'm glad you enjoy it!

Now lets get on with the story!

Chapter 6 You're not a telepath

Hiei's P.O.V (I would put it in regular but I don't feel like it now.)

It was obvious Kurama's eyes got wide and personally I'm not in the least bit surprised.

I guess I would be to if I was in his situation but I wouldn't show it as much. (STORY IDEA!)

If something like this happened to him I would probably slap him once for not coming to me sooner and slapping myself 100 times for not noticing it.

Yeah my life might be completely screwed in many ways but I always had Kurama and he would always be my best friend no matter what. I suppose it just irritated me when he started to not notice me.

He didn't say anything and personally it was really annoying me. He could at least say something in the least!

Kurama's P.O.V

I didn't know what to do, where had I gone wrong. Wait… looking back on it now I see I haven't exactly been on top of everything as I always have been.

I guess Hiei had just clung to that part of me.

Looking upon his hallow face I saw my mistake I should have noticed. He wanted an answer or some kind of remark from me but I didn't know what to say; what was right to say.

But as I began to speak another more familiar question came to me. "How did I ignore you?" That wasn't what I wanted to ask him but that's what came out and I soon regretted it.

"I have always known you to see more of me then anyone else does. More then I would even allow and somehow you know me inside and out." Yes this made sense.

"Everything was normal and I was fine. Then it all started and I started questioning my very existence." (I've done this before and I didn't like the results I found.)

"What happened Hiei?" I asked now completely determined to clear my mistake.

"I just waited it out suffering threw long nights of thinking how easy it would be. The only thing that would really hold me here was you." 'Me?' I thought

(This isn't Yaoi as much as it sounds that way.)

I held back my questions for later and waited for his response.

"You, hoping you of all people would see threw my disguise and see this pain that fills me past capacity!" He cringed his eyes shut and clenched his fists together to the point where his knuckles were white.

"And still you ignored everything and still I fell into the nothing I am!" I knew him well enough to know that he was releasing a lot of his backed up pain.

"I'm sorry Hiei I didn't mean to." I tried to apologies.

He didn't say anything and seeing as it looked logical to do I placed a gentle hand on his clenched fist.

He slowly released to the point where it was just a fist and his eyes opened looking me dead on this time his eyes for one time and probably the only time in his life showing pain and sorrow.

"You have always known me better then even I did Kurama. I guess it just killed me when you stopped seeing right threw me." He admitted turning away.

I smiled even though this was probably the first time Hiei had ever truly spoke what he felt.

"I'm sorry Hiei I didn't even realize I was doing it. But I have to ask." He looked at me again.

"Did you do this to yourself, and if so why, you've never been one to do anything rash." He chuckled a bit even though it sounded evil to the core; like something you would hear before the end of the world or something.

"I don't know." My shoulders literally dropped.

"How can you not know?"

"I just don't one moment I'm sitting in my tree with my katana in hand and the next I'm here. Everything from then on I don't know." I was defiantly not convinced.

Hiei's P.O.V

He wasn't convinced and once again he didn't hide it well; I wasn't even sure he even wanted to.

But this was the honest truth I didn't know and that was that.

"Well then put two and two together Hiei you did it to yourself that only leaves one question."

I knew exactly what the question was but seeing the look on his face I knew he was going to tell it to me anyway. "What were you thinking at the time?" Did he expect me to answer?

"Do you expect me to answer?" I asked sarcastically earning another smirk from him.

"No we just need to find someway to look at your past events and see what you were thinking at the time." He explained but even though he was serious it sounded stupid. (I can just see Hiei thinking this!)

"How are we going to do that fox we may be able to communicate mentally but you're no telepath." I said stating the obvious.

"True but not to fear I have another plan that will work just as well as a telepath."

I defiantly did not like were this was going.

A/N: Well that was longer then the last chapter at least right? Anyway I would have continued but it would spoil the next chapter and it was a awesome cliffhanger anyways.

Please review and as you know I will update soon!


	7. Fine let's do it

Hello my fine friends! I am here to update this story because I have an idea in mind for it. Although if you do get confused on what's going on please just say so and I will explain it VERY clearly next time!

Reviewers:

Blue Moon Fox: Thanks!

Dragon Tamer103088: Surprisingly I am to and I'm the author lol! Anyway thanks a lot!

Sadandlonely: Thanks you've always been very supportive to all of my stories and chapters and I thank you for this!

Daisuke-HieiXXX: Of coarse i will review your stories! Thank you for continuing to read this i love the suport!

Ryuuie Mizishi: Lol honestly I don't remember what I found out. But I know I didn't like it at all so I suffered threw it with ANIME! And I don't regret it at all!

Chapter 7 Fine let's do this

Kurama's P.O.V

"True I'm no telepath but if you think about it you can find out easily." I had the idea of what I needed to do but knowing Hiei I wouldn't be surprised if he declined doing it.

Hiei's P.O.V

He was toying with me; giving me constant riddles. Although by the way he is speaking and what little answers he has given me I don't think I even want to know what he's thinking.

"What are you talking about?" I was suspicious of his idea even if I didn't want to go threw with it.

"You can use your Jagan to look in peoples mind right?" Now I knew what he was thinking but I kept silent.

(Ok from here on or so I'm not sure if he really can use it like that but it's my story!)

(Also this is completely random but have you ever noticed that you can't emphasize the word I like when you want to make something clear or stand out you CAPITALIZE it all. But then you can't do that with the letter I. That sucks.

Sorry I've been trying to figure a way around it and it doesn't work well.)

"Yes." I finally answered.

"Well can you go into your own mind?" 'Oh no.' I though now completely frieghtened of his response but keeping a solid look on my face.

(Think of after Yusuke scrimmaged Hiei in Chapter Black and Hiei started explaining to him about his motivation and stuff when he was fighting younger Tugoro. That's the look I'm going for.)

"No fox I know where you're going with this." He leaned back on his palms and had a mischievous look on his face.

"Please then; explain." I just watched him a moment before answering.

"You want me to go look at the memory of the incident then go into my mind then and see what caused it to happen."

"My Hiei that must have been the longest thing you have probably ever said." He laughed and I shot him a death glare that could frighten even King Enema. (Sorry for spelling.)

"Sorry, but yes that is what I am thinking." He said regaining his composure.

"Your idea is right in theory but there is one major flaw in it."

He looked at me with a questioning look and seeing as he wasn't going to say anything I went on although slightly upset I wouldn't get to mess with his mind for once.

"Going into my memory bank is one thing I do it all the time and is easy to go into a memory."

"So what's wrong?"

"Going into my mind from there would also be easy and getting the requested information would be easy."

His shoulders dropped and his look said, 'You sound like Yusuke, stating the obvious and acting stupid all at once.'

Note to self: When this is all over; kill the fox for that look.

"It's getting back out that will be the problem. Memories have a tendency to move around often and while in there it is easy to get lost." I tried to explain making it as simple as his now human brain could understand.

"So what your saying is there's a chance you could get locked in your own mind?"

"Yes."

"Would there be any way to get you out if you did get locked in there?"

"Some kind of contact from the outside world." That was my best thought of it I had honestly never been in my mind twice and managed to get back out easily; it always took me a few hours to get myself out.

"Well what if I communicated with you mentally threw the process?" The fox asked.

"That also sounds logical." (Such big words he uses lol.)

Kurama's P.O.V

I didn't want to push him into anything he didn't want to do and now I was hesitant myself the information was important but so was our friendship.

I didn't want to have him locked in his own mind forever.

"Let's do it." He finally said after a silence.

"What if something happens?"

"Then at least I know I tried." He answered

A/N: Awesome ending now how will this all happen and if I don't get reviews I might just lock Hiei in his mind for a while just for the torture!

3


	8. In my mind I'm lost

Ok I am getting on with the story I uhhh… ok I'm just getting on with it! Oh yeah if anyone likes Inuyasha fanfictions you should check out my friend angelchild2691's story 'Hurt and Healed.' It is registered under my name but she is the one who wrote it. It would really mean a lot to both of us if you read and reviewed it because it's her first fiction and she did a good job on it!

Reviewers:

I THANK YOU ALL

Ok now onto the chapter but I must say I kind of… lost the idea for this chapter but I will try and get it all right!

Chapter 8 in my mind… I'm lost

The two demons sat one in front of the other in the middle of the room. "Do you know what to do?" Hiei finally asked opening his eyes and looking directly at Kurama.

"Yes, you go in and find the information. Speak it aloud or keep it to yourself it doesn't matter which. When you signal I communicate with you mentally to show you the way out." Kurama explained.

"Yes." Hiei was having trouble coping with what he was about to do. He only had a 50-50 chance of getting out but he also had a 90 chance that he wouldn't want to get out when he was there.

It was a detail he had ignored telling Kurama about, when he was in his mind his feelings would have more of an effect on him and became more enticing to him.

Being in his own mind twice as much only doubled the chance of him changing his feelings about things but it was something he had to take.

Unknown to Kurama Hiei also wanted to know why he had done this to himself like said before he was not known to do things without thinking first. Why hadn't he thought about it and the consequences that were sure to come?

Hiei braced himself for the rush his Jagan gave him as he went to his destined place. "Ready?" Kurama asked.

Hiei only nodded in response and shut his eyes willing himself to travel into his own memory bank.

An explosion soon followed ripping his sprit from his body and dragging himself into his own mind.

The next thing he knew he was standing on a black floor many square images moved around all showing different things from his own eyes.

He ignored them even though the more painful ones seemed to follow his every movement.

A box finally indicated that it was the memory he was looking for. It was colored in black and white but then again all of them were. In the moving image the blade came down upon his wrist.

'What?' Hiei thought as he watched the scene play itself out before him. He had tried suicide and he couldn't even remember it? In a flash the blade moved to his stomach making a large gash.

"That explains a lot." He said the words echoing threw out the area. He jumped into the screen finding himself in his own body but the actions still going on like it really happened.

It was so hard for him to watch what was going on again and again. 'Just ignore it Hiei go on.' Came someone's voice in his head.

He was about to ask who he was when the name, 'Kurama.' Came to him. How could he forget Kurama so easily?

'I know fox.' Hiei replied going into his memory bank again and entering the same exact room.

"Now where is it?" He asked walking around slowly trying not to watch some of the images that followed him.

Finally he found it was just a large block that certain words came up on signaling that this is what he was feeling at this exact time.

'Hatred, sadness, darkness, melancholy, things like that.' He telepathically said to Kurama. (Picture a large dark blue board with white words that appear across it.)

'Ok now comes the hard part getting you back out.'

'I can get myself out fine.' Hiei said cutting the link between them. He walked back the way he came doing the same thing he had done before when something came into his head.

'Do you really want to go back?'

Oh god; it was starting those memories and feelings were building up in him again more then usual

They would try and get him to either stay in this place or let him go back with these feelings.

He wouldn't be able to get out easily and the worst part was; he had cut the link between him and Kurama.

A/N: Yeah if you don't get parts of this just say so and I'll put an authors note up that explains what's going on during this. Trust me I understand if parts of it might be a little confusing just say so and I'll answer everybody's questions!


	9. They never stop

HELLO EVERYONE! Sorry I just felt like doing that for NO apparent reason. Ok now I have REACHED A PROBLEM! I was thinking about what I was going to put in this chapter and I knew what I wanted but I didn't know exactly how to word it. So whatever we shall see how it comes out.

Reviewers:

Hn.Fool: Ok good I can't wait!

I think that was all but I might be wrong. If I missed somebody I am TRULY sorry!

Disclaimer: I only own the evil fish in my fridge and the squirrels in my closet I do not by any means own YYH! And don't forget it I'm not putting one of these for another 10 chapters at least!

Chapter 10: They never stop

Hiei continued to walk not facing any of those horrible memories. 'No I want to get out of here.' He told himself as he questioned his own self for the thousandth time.

'But what have those people ever done for you? They never noticed you're pain and even if they did they didn't care.' Came one of those horrid voices again.

'They are my friends and that's all they need to be.' Hiei told himself but whenever he tried to think about the people he was talking about all he got was a blurry vision.

He stopped and wondered whom were these people he felt so determined to fight for? He couldn't call up and memories or pictures of them.

'See you don't have anyone you need to stay here where you are understood.'

They were right he didn't have any-. No; NO he had a reason for being in here and for getting out.

There had to be; there had to be a reason for why he would push himself so hard for one cause.

'No I need to get back out I… I need to start a new life.' He told himself but every step he took made that thing; the only thing he was fighting for less fact and more of a dream.

It slowly became a dream in which reality surrounds in a thick field showing the harsh truth of what was to come and what had come.

He had no reason to continue to fight he had completed all his worldly tasks. Now only death awaited him and when it did come he would welcome it openly, it was of coarse the only thing he ever earned in this life.

He had completed his life he had nothing now; nothing to hold him down; nothing worth willing himself to live on for. He was the Forbidden child; cursed for death at birth but he had escaped it for so long.

He had escaped the pain for as long as he could remember coming so close but then having something to save him he couldn't take it anymore he just wanted it to end.

(I don't care what you think that was SO emotional!)

As he realized his eyes had closed from the harshness of the reality he opened them as thoughts started to flow threw out his mind.

Different pictures of people helping Hiei when he was in a tough time; those were the people he needed to be fighting for; the reason he needed to leave.

'Yes Hiei that is why you need to come back.' Came someone's voice in his mind. It seemed so familiar to him but he couldn't call up a image or a name.

'What?' He asked looking out at nothing in particular.

'You need to keep fighting and come back to reality Hiei you can't stay in there. You have to for Yusuke, myself and even Kuwabara.'

Now he could put names to those faces he saw. Everything was becoming clearer to him now but his thoughts of staying here still stayed down. (Meaning he still wants to say. Man he can be stubborn sometimes.)

'Hiei we will always be here to help you when you need it and you have to believe that.' The voice was soft and yet very persuasive to him.

He came back to himself and continued on. "I'm leaving." He announced going back out the way he had come.

The second portion of his mind wasn't very difficult as long as he held one solid picture in his mind and named each of them as he went.

Finally a light shown from not far away and he went threw it like a lightning to the ground. (Yeah I know that kind of sucked but it was all I could think of ok.)

His eyes flittered open and he met Kurama's big green eyes. He jumped back a bit before memories of him started to come back and he could successfully put a name on him once more. Kurama.

"I knew you would come back Hiei." He said with a smile.

"How did you know I was being brought down?" (Couldn't think of anything else.) Hiei questioned sealing his Jagan once more. (Remember he needed it open to go into his mind.)

"When you cut the link between us you didn't cut it completely I could still feel what you felt and when I felt your sadness starting to arise I figured that's what happened so I built up a link and contacted you." Kurama explained.

He stood up and gave a hand to Hiei who took it and was brought to his standing position.

They walked out of the room and down the hall. "Where are we going?" Hiei questioned from behind.

"Always so full of question my fine fire friend I am going to make something to eat I'm sure you're hungry." Kurama said turning and giving Hiei a smirk.

"Hn." Hiei said but knew he was defeated.

A/N: Well that was a particularly emotional/dramatic chapter but I hope you guys liked it next chapter coming soon but until then review please.

See originally I WAS going to make this the last chapter and make it a even 10 but I decided I could do better with the ending so Watch for at least ONE MORE chapter. (It's so hard to believe this story is coming to an end when my other stories aren't even close but whatever I'm having fun with this lol.)


	10. Never meant to be seperated

Hey everyone ok I have nothing to say for right now I've been waiting for a certain something to happen but it hasn't! It's been annoying the crap out of me!

Whatever let's get on with the story!

Chapter 10 These things I speak were my death

The two of them ate ramen seeing as it was the only thing Kurama could really find that he knew Hiei would actually put up less of an argument to eat.

Surprisingly enough when Kurama put it in front of him with a spoon Hiei didn't say anything just started to eat it.

'What a change.' Kurama thought sitting down with his own bowl.

"I'm sorry Kurama." Hiei said after about five minutes of silence. Kurama stopped where he was.

He was probably the only human or demon he had ever apologized to in his life. "What for?" He had to ask.

"I put you threw to much I shouldn't have ever come here in the first place." Kurama sighed but smiled all the same.

"Don't be if you had not come you would probably be dead by now. And that would have solved nothing. By you telling me what I did, now I know what to improve on."

Hiei just starred at him like he was an idiot but didn't say a word. He knew he should say something but he didn't know what everything seemed so wrong to say but he knew Kurama would never think anything less of him.

"I don't want to eat." Hiei said pushing the food away and sitting with his head down quietly.

"You need to eat Hiei when I was wrapping your wounds you looked like you hadn't eaten in a week."

"four weeks not since our last mission." He said not lifting his head.

"Hiei! Why didn't you say anything you no wonder it took you so long to warm yourself up earlier or make yourself stable again." He pushed the bowl back in front of Hiei but he only lifted his head and looked at it without expression.

"I've never really been stable. It doesn't matter I'll survive." He rested his head on his arm.

"Not if you starve yourself you won't please Hiei; just eat this."

Hiei's P.O.V

'Please Hiei; just eat this.' The words rang in my head over again and I decided I owed it to him to do what he wanted of me.

I took the bowl once more and started eating it even though I didn't want it.

Kurama was my best friend and mostly my only friend he knew me inside and out, he understood me no matter what I did to hide it.

He would always be there for me and be there to hit me when I wanted to kill someone or something. (Lol)

How could I be so blind not to see all of this?

Kurama's P.O.V

Hiei ate slowly and I was glad. Hiei had always been the silent type and always knew how to insult anyone for anything.

But he was also sensitive in a way; words had a deep effect on him even if he didn't show it normally.

Seeing him as he truly is and how strong of a bond we have created over time really makes me glad that he is my friend and that we would both be there for each other no matter what.

Our friendship I guess you could say was like Yin and Yang when together makes a perfect circle and is just meant to be connected.

But when split apart it doesn't make as much sense.

A/N: That kind of sucked and it was very short but I have officially run out of idea's for what the ending of this should be… PLEASE SEND ME YOUR IDEA'S FOR ENDINGS AND I WILL CONSIDER USING THEM!

AS ALWAYS YOU WILL BE CREDITED 100


	11. Alive to say goodbye last chap unless id...

Hey everyone glad to be writing this next chapter! Now I have decided that this will be the LAST chapter of this story so say good bye to this one! But I MUST say it was good while it lasted am I right?

Reviewers:

Tsume-Hiei luver

Ryuuie Mizishi

Anyway here is your last chapter

Chapter 11 Alive to say Goodbye

Hiei had gotten back into his normal cloths after having them washed and dried and was now double checking that everything was were it should be.

"Hiei." Kurama said from the doorway

Hiei looked over at him realizing the enormous weight that had been lifted from his shoulders.

"It's been a rather hectic day for both of us… hasn't?" He asked coming into the room further.

"Yes." Hiei said almost in a whisper.

"Must you leave already? I mean your wounds are still capable of opening up and-."

"You talk like this will be the last time we see each other." Hiei stated smirking at his fox friend.

Kurama smiled back at him realizing how much it did sound that way.

"Yes well in a way it does feel that way."

"It… won't be." It was more then obvious that it was difficult for Hiei to sound reassuring and convincing at the same time.

"I know you and I will always be friends no matter what happens. But…" Kurama stopped and looked down.

"But it really does feel like once you leave you'll never come back and we'll be back were we started."

Hiei looked at him trying to find the perfect thing to say to ease his friend's trouble ness.

"I'll come back often fox." He looked away at that.

Kurama smiled glad to see his little fire demon friend lightning up… well… at least to him… but it was a start.

"I'm glad we've seen that it's not good to hold stuff inside. It's better to just say how you are feeling."

"Then… I can tell you things… that are troubling me." Hiei admitted looking up at him in a satisfied look.

Kurama had successfully torn down Hiei's secret barrier the one that kept everything inside of him.

Now Hiei could freely talk with Kurama about anything and not have to worry about his response.

True Kurama would always worry about him but that was something all friends would or should do for one another and Hiei would have to get passed that.

"I have to say it's been quite fun watching you change yourself so much."

Hiei glared at him.

"What does that mean?" He had obviously taken it the wrong way and resented the comment.

"No, no what I mean is that at first you were a murderer who would kill without meaning and never trusted anyone with anything." Hiei listened with little to know interest this had been something he had found out before.

"But now… you fight for humans instead of against them and you have come to trust people more. That's a major step I must say."

Hiei rolled his eyes and tied his Katana closer to him. "You're stating the obvious I already knew that and I don't like the thought of it."

With that Hiei was gone with nothing more then the faint rustle of the trees from the open window.

Kurama's P.O.V

He was gone just like he always did; not that I minded.

I walked over to the window and leaned on the frame gazing upon the crisp blue morning sky. (Hiei had stayed the night.)

The tree the hung just above my window blew with the breeze of the newly come springtime making a shadow fall upon me.

This past day had really opened up a variety of new doors just waiting to be opened.

'You have realized your own change Hiei if you hadn't you wouldn't have ever made them. I feel that is one of the reasons why you did what you did you're one tracked mind couldn't handle it.' I thought watching a few clouds role by.

'But now… now you have embraced it no matter what you say or how you act. You are a different person ready for the tiniest bit of change.' I let out a breath as the last thought glazed threw my mind.

Hiei's P.O.V

I stood on a branch not far from Kurama he hadn't even noticed my presence there.

I breathed out slowly descending upon the honest truth that Kurama had so forcefully put into my mind.

I had changed and for the better as he says. My memories would always be with me no matter what happened that was for sure.

But now… now at least there was someone who would listen to whatever I had to say no matter what it was.

'I may not know why I changed or even when it all happened but it did. I have been freed of my murderous ways.' I thought as Kurama looked up into the blue sky.

'I don't know what lies ahead for me and I don't think I want to know either I shall take it as it comes no matter what it may be… but at least I know that I'm not alone anymore.'

I thought again flittering away from the tree and the house.

Kurama's P.O.V

He was gone now and I knew not of when he would be back… but I knew someday he would be back.

I got up and started away from my window I stood in the doorway and looked back suddenly.

'But when you do come back Hiei.'

I smiled turned off my light and shut the door.'My window will always be open.'

This was the end of merely one chapter of our story what lies ahead for us is still unclear but we will face it and get threw no matter what… our friendship would pull us threw.

**A/N: **AWWWW that was a sweet ending I loved it! Anyway the cover is shut the last chapter has been written and that was it. I hope everyone enjoyed it as much as I did! Now for some of my other stories… well… that's another day's work.

**IMPORTANT: **Although I did make this story have an ending were it could possibly have a sequel so if anyone has any idea's for a sequel I'll try and use them and then if I do I'll put up an authors note telling you everything!

So please submit me idea's

And as always don't forget to review!


End file.
